Suicide isn't enough. I need to die and be reborn as an omnipresent multicelestial being forever haunting my past self into making decisions that will keep me away from becoming who I am today, keeping me in an infinite paradox in which, when my current self doesn't exist, my past self cannot be successful, creating infinite branches of the universe as we know it, keeping me in a constant state of every possible emotion, guaranteeing I feel what life was meant to be. If you cannot comprehend what I wrote, I want to die and be able to torment myself for everything that ever happened, even though I am fully aware most of it wasn't my fault, but yet I keep blaming myself for everything.
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